


Always An Artist

by grnidshrk



Category: Grimm (TV), White Collar
Genre: Backstory, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 13:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1349287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grnidshrk/pseuds/grnidshrk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is a relatively new Detective, at least he seems so. Hank would be the first to say that his partner has old eyes but he'd chalk it up to him losing his parents young.</p><p>And before the Grimm heritage reared it's head, everyone would say he'd been an open book. About his time around Portland, college in New York, and Juliette. Before that . . .</p><p>Well, before that there's the wistful smile when he says he backpacked around Europe before getting his degree. </p><p>The small bits and pieces of information from that time before just crumbs of the whole that they never see, part of a pain he wont lay bare. </p><p>But then, who would trust the FBI's James Bonds?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always An Artist

**Author's Note:**

> Just an Idea that hit me after watching both White Collar and Grimm in the same night; tell me what ya think.
> 
> EDIT: Changed a bit here and there for flow and continuity as some people have asked for me to expand on this and I may in the near future.

Nick was Neal was Nick.

With his aunt always doing something he was predominantly left to his own devices. And part of being the law came from dodging the law, to knowing how to fake records and fingerprints and playing around got just so fun until.

Until.

Until he and Peter went up against someone who doesn't like to play, who didn't like being outwitted by a conman and a feeb.

Elizabeth and Peter dead, their murderer in jail missing some vital pieces, and Sachmo the only evidence following him into identity after identity until he was gone too and only Neal was left.

Nick Burkhardt was Nick Holden was Neal Caffery was—so many others now; being Nick was empty but for his Aunt Marie and Neal was nothing without the Burke's.

So he left it all, the paintings and the priceless pieces, all hidden just in case for a rainy day, a possible escape. Mozzie helped him change everything physical, Alec helped with everything cyber and the possible data caches not connected. Neal Caffery died and so did all of his other aliases and Nick Burkhardt finished a bachelors in art history with a minor in criminal justice after traipsing through Europe for a few years.

He was a detective, a homage to Peter and their time together, and he let his trail be found by his aunt, a beacon for her in the dark.

And then there was the Reaper and she was dying of cancer and his heart just hurt, all of his loved ones dying and he couldn't anymore.

He couldn't let Juliet go.

So he held onto her; her and Hank, Wu and the Captain. Monroe and Barry and Roddy and Holly and Bud and all the others he'd pulled to him because of being a Grimm.

He couldn't lose them, not until they were taken down, made into art for him to remember them by, for them to no longer be hurt because he's there. Splashes of green and red and brown, the forest and clocks and red eyes making up Monroe, amber and deep oranges with glittering emeralds surrounded by sharp edges and a soft warming glow for Jules.

Hank was smoke and blood and a rush of speeding colors, crime and safety and thrill, Renard dark with secrets and pain, brilliant with regal poise and pain from being considered lesser. All the others a massive collage of pain and fear, enlightenment and freedom, truth and soul, a mural telling their story intertwined with his.

He was careful. They knew he could sketch and draw but no one had seen him paint or sculpt.

And then it was all out, all the secrets between them but his own and after everything he needed the relief. 

So just once, once since they were all alive and no one had he cared for had died, Nick decided to let go and stop hiding. Charcoal and pastels, oils and graphite, watercolors and acrylic, they were covering multiple surfaces from canvas to paper and everything in between when the others made their way into his home. The drop cloths he'd laid down showed how at ease he was by how little was on them, only his hands and a few other spots bearing the proof of his work.

Juliet was on a retreat with other vets from her clinic and he was on mandatory down time from a shooting during an arrest and it was just so easy to be alone, to forget just for a little while that he’s just supposed to be Nick the cop and Grimm. Here he was Nick/Neal/Nick, conman/cop/grimm, fugitive/detective/rookie and there were no masks or pretenses or secrets. There was Robin the Seltenvogel done from memory and a miniature Van Gogh from the print on the wall leaning against the banister, an empty bottle a local microbrew and an empty plate of puttanesca on the coffee table, a broken plastic band and a cheap gold watch sitting forlorn in the corner of the room; everything that was him summarized into the chaotic mess of his living room.

When Monroe checked up on Nick the scent of acrylic and so many others were still so fresh in the air the paint stung his nose that he was amazed at all he'd done since Nick had locked himself into his home four days ago.

The biggest difference of it all though was the look in his eyes, the way he held himself, and the music floating from room to room.

Nick was Neal was Nick.

Nick was Neal.

Neal was Nick.

There were no more partitions; the conman, the cop, and the Grimm were all there, in blinding, clashing Technicolor trying to mesh with each other into a true whole.

If they were all going to be truthful, no more secrets or hidden lineages or pasts, then so was he.

Nick was Neal was Nick.

He'd have to find some way to reconcile all of himself to them; he had to so he could make all of this work.

The Conman was a Cop was a Grimm.

He was paint and fashion and Classical Music, Burnt coffee and profiling skills and a badge, Books and Blades and Breaking the Rules of Grimms Before him. 

Nick Holden was Neal Caffery was Nick Burkhardt.

It was time to be Free.

He was Nick and this was how he came to be.


End file.
